Viktor Frankl, in his best-selling book, Man's Search for Meaning, says that success is found not through its pursuit for its own sake, but in the pursuit of something greater. As he reflects on what he learned about identity and meaning from his own experiences in a concentration camp during the Holocaust, he says this in the book's introduction:
Again and again I therefore admonish my students both in Europe and in America: “Don’t aim at success—the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one’s dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long run—in the long run, I say!—success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think of it.”
Success only follows, in time (and it might look much different than you expect), as "the unintended side-affect of one's dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's surrender to a person other than oneself." I think this is a key insight. So often we determine what we want in life, gird ourselves up, go after the goal, employ others in service to the goal, and even attempt to bring God along as a supernatural, magical aid to get what we really want. In that, God, and others, become a means to some other end.
When Socrates said, "Know thyself," which was inscribed on the Temple of Apollo, he meant that we must know our limits, know what we do not know, and I would also add, to know our motivations. We grasp for our version of success and happiness that is most likely outside our control, and we then attach personal meaning to it. We attach our very identity to the quest or how we are doing on the scale of what success is. Instead, Frankl says, we should give ourselves to a cause greater than ourself or surrender to a person other than oneself.
Frankl isn't speaking from a Christian perspective here, but it isn't hard to hear the words of Jesus in the Gospel of Matthew in what he is saying. Matthew 6:31-34:
So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Frankl isn't speaking from a Christian perspective here, but it isn't hard to hear the words of Jesus in the Gospel of Matthew in what he is saying. Our fears and limitations press in on us from every side. Time, health, mortality, rejection. We all know there is something wrong with the world and we try to outrun it, protect ourselves from it, or insulate ourselves with pleasure, provision, prominence, and power. But, suffering is right there. The "wrong" presses in. We feel it deeply, and not knowing what to do with this overwhelming knowledge of good and evil, we create a myriad of strategies, teachings, techniques, and approaches to stave off the yawning abyss that feels like it will swallow us whole at any moment - if we pay attention to it. It's easier to go from one amusement and quest to another than stare our quest for meaning and identity in the face and realize we can't get back to Eden. Success, no matter how we define it or how hard we pursue it, eludes us. If we grasp it, it is momentary and slips away. But, more often, it is just beyond our reach.
So, what to do? I think we need to cultivate a "receiving faith" in God that first seeks after Him and His purposes for us in the moment. "Success" and identity has to be redefined toward what God has done in creating you and is doing in redeeming and saving you and giving your life meaning in the moment and for eternity. We need a larger view. For example, if you define yourself as a parent and your identity is found in being a Mom or Dad, what happens when the kids grow up? When they leave home? When things don't work out? Have you failed? Are you now alone? What is success and where does joy come from? As good as being a father or mother is, as important and life-giving as it is, if it is the highest thing, then the weight you put on it will crush you and your children. It cannot bear the load of your quest for identity and meaning. No one can. Your spouse and marriage cannot. Your politics or church or other relationships cannot bear that load. Eventually, it will all crack.
Rather, as Augustine said in his Confessions, we were made for God and our hearts are restless until we find our rest in Him. "Receiving Faith" means that we start by sitting in who God is and what He is doing. Being attentive to God, why He made us, where He is at work around us, what is happening in the moment - not past glories or hope of future triumphs, but right now. The pain and satisfaction of life. The good and the gory. Suffering and satisfaction. All of it. Where is God at work in the storm and in the sunshine? Do we see God at work in the live of those around us?
I've seen people walk away from family, marriages, friendships, churches, work, and amazing gifts because they deemed it all "not enough." Or, they are happy or successful or their goals aren't being met. So, we trade lives or work ourselves into oblivion or put loads on others that they cannot carry, all in search for something that only God can provide. We were made for Him and we don't live in the past and we aren't in the future yet. We are here right now, in this moment and what does it mean to build a life in service to something, or Someone beyond yourself? What if meaning and identity was grasped or created, but it was received? From Creator to created? From The Maker to the made?
I think that this requires more than just a personal decision. I think it requires a believing community that encourages receiving faith as a core means of spiritual and identity formation. In short, we need encouragement and a holistic approach to this. Friendship and people to journey with who are also eager to receive what God has for them and to align their lives around humility, mercy, justice, and grace. That kind of community can be hard to find in a world where the quest for success, satisfaction, and created meaning is literally and virtually everywhere. So, we need to worship. Seek God and His Kingdom. What we need, really, is found in Someone Else.
